This one is going to be a little departure from my usual thoughts, because I think it needs to be said.
To start, let me be clear in that I am not encouraging anyone to be a lone wolf here. You need a tribe. You need people who love and care about you, and it is important to maintain that tribe. These are the people that keep you mentally fit, know when you are not mentally fit, and might be good to get a kidney donation from should you need it. These are the friends that know by the tone of your voice on the phone or emoji via text that you need a coffee data, stat. Keep these people close.
So who, then, do I need to stop caring what they think? Everyone else. F*ck all those people.
In the past, I have always been that super duper people pleaser. I had my own path, but I always let others get into my head and tell me what I was doing was wrong, or worse yet, letting their views influence my choices. “Oh, you can mix a can of Sprite with a cake mix, bake it, and I can eat all the cake I want? That sounds amazing! Oh, you use this protein shake and lost 5 pounds? Ill buy a $100 container of that from the health food store! You lost how much on Adkins? Sign me up for that! Oh, you need me to whatever this weekend, and I will definitely not be around food that is good for me? Sign me up!”
This is why I weighed 227 pounds. All the suggestions. All the advice. All the good intentions.
I have been studying myself and what is making this round of new diet more manageable than others. Don’t get me wrong, has it been easy? No, it certainly hasn’t, but with this diet, I feel mentally stronger. And its new and weird. I think getting off of sugar has been one big piece of the puzzle (that stuff is like crack) that has tripped the diet balance in my favor. I have more energy than I have had in years. Now that I am off of sugar, I don’t want to “ruin” it, so I keep it up unless its something special, like a dinner out or a slice of cake to celebrate my husbands birthday this past weekend. Admittedly, its also pretty scary going through health issues, so that has most definitely kept my feet to the fire.
But the other piece of it? In all honesty? I don’t give a sh*t what people think of me, my diet, or how I am going about it. This is my journey, I own it, and I will be damned if anyone is going to talk badly about it. I don’t know when that switch ‘flipped’ for me, but now that it has, I can’t see myself going back. I know, its seems helpful to offer up tips and advice, but for me, it has the opposite effect.
Your list of ‘persona non grata’ might differ from mine, but this is my list of those who no longer have space in my brain or have control over my emotions. Evicted. In one ear and out the other.
- The “fakers”– Much like fake news, these are the people that say one thing, but mean another. “Oh, you look so good, but its probably just water weight!” Nice, right? I use these people as motivation. Honestly, If they think its easily lost water weight only, then I will just have to keep it off, plus more, just to prove a point.
- The “Oh I just heard about xxx on the news, you should try it!”– Nope, Ill just stick with the no sugar thing. Eating 3 grapefruits a day sounds unpleasant. And running does as well.
- The “Its just one bite” people– Closely related to the “If I don’t eat it they will be pissed off because they made it” philosophy. If you don’t want to eat it, don’t. The only person who decides what you consume, is you. If one bite of a brownie will send you down a rabbit hole that you wake up from 3 days after with a ice cream container stuck to your shirt, then don’t do it. You control you. End of story.
- The “That diet is too hard” people– Great! That must mean I am a super hero because I can stick with it. Thanks for the confirmation of my awesomeness.
- The “I’m allergic to xyz, so I cant do that” people- Cool, then focus on what you can do vs what you cant. The whole glass half empty/half full thing.
- The “lets go to dinner and then out for a dessert and then out for a drink!” people– If you can make that work, go for it, but that sounds like an opportunity to fall of the wagon and hit every last wagon wheel to me. Maybe just a light dinner and a glass of wine? Just because they suggest it, doesn’t mean you have to do it.
- The “time committers”– Related to the above. “You have to attend ____ so you can workout/eat healthy meal/take care of yourself later.” Again, you do you. You control your time and your life.
- Any other things that are negative and not helpful to anyone– Just stop. Backhand compliments are not a good look.
If I fail on whatever journey I’m on, then you look like the “I told you so” person. If I succeed, you didn’t believe in me. All I ask is that you be positive, and understanding. At the end of the day, I am alone to face the scale, and I have to make decisions based on that time. Not whether or not I hurt your feelings. For the first time in my life, I have to put my health first.
So ask me about how my progress is going. Ask me what my favorite recipe is so far. Ask me where is the best place to get healthy take-out is. This are things I LOVE to share and I can show off my new-found knowledge.
Be you. Do what you need to do. F*ck everyone else.